1.较短的英语故事

The dog and the fox Some dogs found the skin of a lion and began to tear it to piece with their teeth.A fox seeing them,said:"If this lion were alive,you would soon find out that his claws were stronger than you teeth!" It is easy to kick a man that is down. 够短吗？ 很简单了```````。

2.英语小笑话小故事

Soldier An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines。

He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London。 The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat。

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog。 The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans。

You are such a rude class of people。 Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog。

Again he asked, "Please, lady。 May I sit there? I'm very tired。

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant。 Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat。

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier。 An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing。

You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand。 You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road。

And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window。 " 。

3.英语小笑话带翻译

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"。

4.请给我几个简单点的英语笑话,急着口语演讲,谢谢

A farmer and his wife decide to sell their land so they can move to Florida and retire。

A prospective buyer comes by and likes the place, but there's only one problem: He's deathly afraid of bees and, on a tour of the property, he noticed a lot of them。 The farmer says, "There's always been bees around here, but in the 30 years I've owned the farm, I've never been stung once。

I'll tell you what。 "Take off your clothes and let me tie you to that tree over there。

If you're stung by a single bee, I'll give you the farm for nothing。 But if you don't get stung, you have to buy the farm at my asking price。

" The guy figures the possibility of a free farm is too good to pass up, so he agrees to the farmer's deal。 The farmer ties him naked to the tree and goes to work in the fields。

A few hours later, the farmer returns, only to find the man in a state of total exhaustion。 He's a complete wreck。

His knees are buckling and the only things holding him up are the tiny straps securing him to the tree trunk。 The farmer is shocked。

"What on earth happened to you? You're a mess! Did the bees get you?" "No," says the man, "but doesn't that Calf have a mother?" The guy figures the possibility of a free farm is too good to pass up, so he agrees to the farmer's deal。 The farmer ties him naked to the tree and goes to work in the fields。

A few hours later, the farmer returns, only to find the man in a state of total exhaustion。 He's a complete wreck。

His knees are buckling and the only things holding him up are the tiny straps securing him to the tree trunk。 The farmer is shocked。

"What on earth happened to you? You're a mess! Did the bees get you?" "No," says the man, "but doesn't that Calf have a mother？" 可以自己配上一些简单的手势会更有趣！！ 。

5.能帮我找一个英语小故事或笑话吗

WHATISHAPPINESS Therewasagirlwhoseparentsdiedyearsago。

Shehadnosistersorbrothers。Shewasanorphan。

Shefeltsadandlonely。Shewantedtobelovedverymuch。

Oneday,whenshewaswalkinginaforest,shesawadragonflycaughtinathornbush。Nomatterhowhardittriedtofreeitself,hefailedeverytime。

Thelittlegirlwasverysorryforit。Sherantoreleasethedragonflyfromthethorncarefullyatonce。

Buttohergreatsurprise,thedragonflydidn'tflyaway,itchangedintoabeautifulfairyinstead。 Thebeautifulfairysaidtothegirl,"Imustdiewithoutyourhelp。

Becauseofyourkindness,youcangetwhateveryouwantfromme。"Youmaynotbelivethatthegirlwantedneithergoldnorsilver。

Shetoldthefairythatshewantedtobehappymost。Thefairylearnedtowardsherandwhisperedsomethinginherear。

Thenshedisappeared。 Fromthenon,thelittlegirlwashappyeveryday。

Shewaskindtoeveryonearoundher。Otherpeopleaskedherthesecretofherhappiness。

Shesmiledandsaid,"ThesecretofmyhappinessisthatIlistenedtoagoodfairy。 " Whentshewasveryoldandwasdying,allherneighboursstoodaroundherbedandaskedherthesecretofhappiness。

Theywereafraidthatthesecretofhappinesswoulddiewithher。 Thelovelyoldladysmiledandsaid,"Thegoodfairytoldmeeveryoneneededme,nomattertheywereyoungorold,richorpoor,menorwomen。

6.我想要一些英语幽默的小故事

中式英语： 昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就 面带微笑的： 前台小姐：“hello？” 老外：“hi.” 前台小姐：“you have what thing？” 老外：“can you speak English？ ” 前台小姐：“if I not speak English, I am speaking what？” 老外：“can anybody else speak English？ ” 前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.” 老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English？” 前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.” 老外：“I want to speak to your head.” 前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”。

7.英语简短幽默的小故事（1分半钟）

Talking clock 会说话的钟 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning！" 一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。

“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。

“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。

突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！” 这是第一篇~ A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问："主啊， 一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟."最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"！ 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了，他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说："恭喜，你得了双胞胎."男人说："多奇怪呀，我是明尼苏达双子队的 经理."过了一会儿，护士过来对第二个男人说："恭喜，你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢："嗯，又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后，护士跑来对第三个男人 说："恭喜，你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说："真令人啼笑皆非，我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴，但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁，咒骂上帝 并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲，他回答道："什么不对劲？我可是在七喜公司工作呀！" 呵呵，一个比一个效率高.。

8.跪求一则简短幽默的英语小故事

Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”