1.跪求一篇简短的两人搞笑英文对话

一、

Customer: Give me a hot dog.

Waiter: With pleasure.

Customer: No, with mustard.

顾客：来个热狗。

侍者：很高兴。

顾客：不要，加上芥末。

（注：英语中with pleasure是“很高兴”的意思。这位顾客把pleasure当成调料了。怪不得他说不要pleasure，要芥末呢。）

二、Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you all to answer at once. How much is 6 plus 4?

Student: At once!

老师：全班同学听着，不管我问什么，你们都要马上回答。6+4等于几？

学生：马上。

2.英语幽默对话,大约三分钟

经典对话一：

男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）

女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。）

经典对话二：

男：Can I have your name？（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）

女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）

经典对话三：

男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

经典对话四：

男：Is this seat empty？（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）

女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）

经典对话五：

男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）

女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）

经典对话六：

男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）

女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）

经典对话七：

男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）

女：Why? Are you leaving？（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

3.求一简单搞笑的英语两人情景对话

A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?

B:Sure.

A:What is your father's name?

B:Happy!

A:Then, What is your mother's name?

B:Smile!

A:Are you joking?

B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census

staff?

A:Of course not.

B:Go ahead.

A:OK. Your name is Kidding!

4.英语幽默小对话2人（短又简单的）

随便一找就找到了被：

(1)How are you ？（怎么是你）

How old are you ？（怎么老是你）（这句最搞笑）

(2)男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸）

女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸）

(3)男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐）

女：Why? Are you leaving？（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

5.求英语幽默短对话（二人组）

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物， 尤其是煮熟的. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessfulman , there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats causechildren. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外， 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩. "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，还是再睡一会吧. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来. "Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk？ "努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明. "Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " 工作好有意思耶！ "尤其是看着别人工作." God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地. When two's company, three's the result！ 两个人的状态是不稳定的 ， 三个人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restrictingth e view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more youforget. T he more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少， 为什么学来着？！ 经典对话一：男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。）

经典对话二：男：Can I have your name？（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？） 经典对话三：男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

经典对话四：男：Is this seat empty？（直译：这个座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。） 经典对话五：男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？） 女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。

这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因） 经典对话六：男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？） 女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）

经典对话七：男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。） 女：Why? Are you leaving？（是吗？你是说你要离开。

6.简短的6人搞笑英文对话总共6

A friend is a person who can let you feel warm when you are

depressed. I have many friends.But XXX is my best friend.He is as old as me.He taller than me.Basketball is his favorite sport.We are in the same class.He is good at study.So his study is very good.We learn from each other and help each other.He will help me if i got in trouble.I will help he as much as I can. I hope our friendship will forever and ever.

A friend is someone who can let you feel warm when you are depressed. I have many friends. However I only have one best friend and it's XXX. He is the same age as me. He is taller than me. Basketball is his favourite sport. We are in the same class. He likes studying and is good at it, so he gets high marks. We learn from each other and help each other. He will help me if I ever get into troubles. So will I. I hope our friendship will last forever