1.英语笑话带翻译 短一些

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。

"Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？ 汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? Jack: Certainly. Tom: And why? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？杰克：当然应该了。

汤姆：为什么？ 杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。

2.英语小笑话,越短越好,3.4句话,带翻译

我这有几个英语小笑话：

校园幽默四则

1.

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2.

The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3.

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that two and four were six too。.."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6， 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4.

A physics Examination

once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates

were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then

hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

3.英语笑话带翻译 短一些

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？

汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了

Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?

Jack: Certainly.

Tom: And why?

Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？

杰克：当然应该了。

汤姆：为什么？

杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。

参考资料：？an=1&si=8

4.简单的英语小笑话（带翻译）

1、Boy：?Is?this?seat?empty？?Girl：?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：这个座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

?? 2、Boy：?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink？?Girl：?Actually?I'd?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？?女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。? 3、My?little?dog?can't?read?Mrs.?Brown：?Oh，?my?dear，?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog！?Mrs.?Smith：?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers！??Mrs.?Brown：?It's?no?use，?my?little?dog?can't?read.? 我的狗不识字。

布朗夫人：哦，?亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！?史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！?布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4、My?Wife?Will?Exchange?Them。

A?gentleman?walks?into?a?store?and?asked?for?a?pair?of?gloves.???″Cloth?or?leather﹖″?asked?the?salesperson.??″Makes?no?difference?″replied?customer.???″What?color﹖″?asked?the?clerk.??″Any″?he?responded.? ″Size﹖″?″Give?me?whatever?you?prefer″?the?gentleman?said?slightly?exasperated.?″My?wife?will?be?back?tomorrow?to?exchange?them.″? 反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。

?“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。?“没什么区别。”

这位顾客回答。?“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。

“什么颜色都成。”他回答。

?“号码呢？”?“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”? 5、A??physics?Examination,Once?in?a?physics?examination，?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon，?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was：?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first，?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls？??? Nick's?answer：?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.??? 一次物理考试。

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

?? 6、Jim's?History?Examination。Uncle：?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother：?Oh，?not?at?all?well，?but?there，?it?wasn't?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.??? 吉姆的历史考试。

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。

嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。? 7、he?is?really?somebody。

--?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?--?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do？--?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.??? 他真是一个大人物。--?我叔叔下面有1000个人。

--?他真是一个大人物。干什么的？--?墓地守墓人。

扩展资料： 笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。

其趣味有高下之分。 人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。

但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。 同时丰富了笑话的宝库。

随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。 参考资料：百度百科：笑话。

5.简单的英语笑话带翻译,急

my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

6.简单英语笑话带翻译

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

7.英语小笑话带翻译,简短一点

一）

迪尼斯之旅（中英）

On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted us wholeheartedly to the attraction. After three exhausting days,we headed for home.

佛罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。筋疲力尽地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

As we drove away, our son waved and said : "good bye,Mickey.”

当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥着手说道：“再见，米奇！”

Our daughter waved and said, "goodbye, Minnie.”

女儿挥着手说道：“再见，美妮。”

My husband waved, rather weakly,and said : "goodbye , money.”

丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道：“再见，美元。”

（二）

生财有道（中英）

Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”

母亲决定尽可能地减少家务开支，于是她自己洗衣服，而不把衣服送到干洗店去干洗了。母亲很得意自己的节约之道，对父亲自夸道：“弗雷德，你想想，我们又增加了五块钱的积累，因为我自己动手洗的这些衣服。”

"Good,”my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!”

“好啊！”我父亲立即答道：“那就再洗一遍。”

8.简短的英语笑话带翻译

Feel Unhappy.心里难受 Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy? Father: Of cause, it is. Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time. Father(angrily): What? You------ 儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？ 父亲：那当然！ 儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

父亲（气愤地）：什么？你…… It's not that. 不是那样的。 A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet. B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella. A: No, it wasn't raining. A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！ A：不是，当时并没有下雨。 Compare other things？比一下其他？ Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed. Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things? Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you. 儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？ 儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,。

9.简单英语笑话带翻译

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

10.简短的英语笑话带翻译

Feel Unhappy.心里难受

Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?

Father: Of cause, it is.

Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.

Father(angrily): What? You------

儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？

父亲：那当然！

儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

父亲（气愤地）：什么？你……

It's not that. 不是那样的。

A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

A: No, it wasn't raining.

A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！

A：不是，当时并没有下雨。

Compare other things？比一下其他？

Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed.

Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things?

Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？

儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,