1.求简单英语五人小品剧本,请看清下面的补充要求

搞笑英语微电影剧本《Whose treat》（英语5人搞笑微电影剧本）演员：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白—— 编剧： 摄影： 后期制作： 插曲：场景一《铃儿响叮当》场景二《雪绒花》场景三《泰坦尼克号主题曲》场景四《flash》场景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》道具：一份报纸（最好是英文的），三份试卷（白纸即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃（场景一：未定空地____5个人都到， 拍摄）旁白：One day ,some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner 一天，几个年轻人想叫外卖吃（直接录旁白，念完时候镜头落在四个人身上）A: let's get takeout ,please？（旁白念完直接开始）B:why not? I like it .（开心，满足）C:It's up to you .（看着A）D:OK,but i have a good idea……（手托下巴，卖关子）A:go on ,please（请求语气）D:we always ”going Dutch “,.it's time to enjoy someone's treat……我们总是AA制，这次找个人请客吧（扫一眼大家，继续卖关子）C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please（请求）D：（笑）OK,OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！我们每人讲一个笑话，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就买单哦。

（得意）A,B,C:good idea！（大家拍手，异口同声）A:Let me tell a joke first .the title is” I'm Glad “.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先讲吧，题目是“我很高兴”。一个老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。

现在，她说（切到场景二，到一个教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑话表演出来，， 拍）旁白：Now, she said现在，她说赵雪：children ,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad？你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？王鹏：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使别人高兴过。赵雪：Well done. Who was that？做得好，是谁呢？王鹏：My granny.我奶奶。

赵雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。王鹏：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'！是这样的，老师。

我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。

’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’（切回场景一，BCD哈哈大笑A见状很开心，）A:oh, i got it ！我做到了（很开心）B:yeah,yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .（指着A说完捂嘴笑）A: I……（要解释，被B拦下）B:OK,now ,It's my turn .”a gentle reminder”is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。（切换场景三，移至餐厅或有椅子的地方， 拍摄，）B:On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted， 在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（录旁白形式）双："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years？"“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？” B:Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said，他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：田："So, you want to switch seats？"“因此，你想交换座位吗？”（切回场景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）B:so, i got it，（对C）maybe you will like the man in the future （笑）it's your turnC: oh,no ,he is stupid （不屑），my title is “girl,oh little girl”题目是“让人无奈的孩子”When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['me?hem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五岁的女儿和她的表妹在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。

一个星期六，我开始抗议了。（切至场景四，某空地， 拍摄）： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting." “好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。”

（转身要走），双：“come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "“来， ，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”（切回场景一，ABD哈哈笑）B:OK,we three all did it ,now，（对D）only you leftD:i'm very afraid now,maybe I'll fail it . Let me try .it's “A dollar per point”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。

（切场景五，至 教室， 拍摄）D（旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。（ 轩演教授， 坐中间， 演学生，考试时， 左顾右盼很着急，交卷子时， 左看看右看看掏出100元夹在卷子里并且写了一句话A dollar per point.）once the test was over the students all handed the tests ba。

2.求一篇英语相声剧本.

天呢，给各位说一段英语相声。

这位大家都认识，XXX我的搭档 小号吹得好！ 就是最近啊，身体不好 尤其这次病的挺严重的，都破相了。 痔疮。

呵呵，开个玩笑 就上个星期吧，XXX给我打点话：走啊，一起游泳去 我说：不去！ 我嫌脏，游泳池里面有很多人都在里面撒尿 他说：别怕，我们也可以尿！ 最后还是他一个人去了。 当天下午3点，打电话给我：哥，带2000块赎我来吧，尿尿让人逮着了。

去把他领回来。问他怎么回事，他说：他们都在池子里尿的，我是站在岸边尿的。

过两天，他自己又去了。下午又给我打电话：兄弟。

来赎我来吧，又让人逮着了 去把他领回来，问他：又站岸边尿了？ 他说：没有啊。这次在池子里尿的，不过这几天有点上火，尿是黄的。

Today, I would like to present a cross-talk. This is XXX, my partner, everybody knows him. He blows his trumpet very well! But he has been indisposed recently This time he's really very sick, he's disfigured. Hemorrhoids. Ha ha, it's just a joke. Just last week, XXX gave me a call: “Come, let's go swimming ” I answered: “No, it's dirty; lots of people urinate in the pool” He said: “Don't worry, we also can urinate!” Finally he went alone. Later in the afternoon at three o'clock, he called me: “Brother, please bring 2000 Yuan to bail me out, I was caught urinating.” I asked him what'd happened after taking him back, he said: “They urinated in the pool, but I did it standing at the poolside.” Two days later, again he went there alone. In the afternoon, he called me again: “Brother, I was caught again, come and bail me.” After bringing him back, I asked: “Urinated at the poolside again?” He answered: “No, this time I did it in the pool, but these few days I have excessive internal heat, my urine was yellow. ”。

3.帮我找个用英语说的相声台词~

相声没有 不过小品倒是有 Characters: Angel: A chief broadcaster. Anny: A primary school girl who had called so much in order to look for her mother. Anny's father Anny's teacher Anny's classmates Divide the stage into two parts. On the left: Children's ward, a chair, some flowers. On the right: A desk, a chair, a lamp, some books. （幕启，舞台左半亮，右半暗） （The phone is ringing） Old woman: Hello! Anny（怯生生地）： Hello, I, I want mum. Is that mum? Old woman: Oh, I'm granny. I'm not mum. Anny: I'm sorry. （电话挂断声，拨号声又起） A young woman: Hello! Anny（怯生生地）： Hello! I want mum. Is that mum? Young woman: Are you joking? I'm not married. （电话继续响，右半舞台亮） Angel: Hello! Anny（鼓起勇气）： I want mum. Is that mum? Angel: Who's that speaking? Anny: I'm Anny, your Anny. Angel: Anny？（充满疑惑）。

（略为思索后，用母亲的声调）Where are you? Anny（仿佛遇见母亲，忍不住哭起来）： Mum，（哭声，欲语泪先流，又猛然惊觉）Mum, mum, I'm not crying. Angel（安慰地，担心地）： You are a nice little girl. Anny: Mum, why don't you come to see me? Dad says you will come back if I am well behaved. Mum, don't you miss me? Angel（慈爱地）： Of course, I do. I do miss you? Anny: Really? Angel: Yes. I miss you so much. Anny: Mummy! Angel: En… Anny: Mummy! Angel: Yes? Anny（笑若银铃） （Angel 慈爱地笑，心略有所安） Anny（突然又哭了）： But mummy, why don't you come back? I'm ill. Angel（关切地）： Anny, where are you? Tell me, where are you? Anny: Mummy, I'm in hospital now. I felt pain, but I didn't cry. Dad says the one who cries is not a good girl. Then you won't come back. Mummy, can you come back to see me? I'm waiting for you with no tears. Angel: Anny, I'm, I'm not… Oh, yes, mummy will come back to see you(Dad推门入，见Anny在打电话，连忙夺过) Dad: I've told you not to call anybody else. （对着电话）Sorry, I'm really sorry. The child has disturbed you. Angel: Never mind. I'm a mother, too. I understand her. May I know the truth? Dad: Eh…， her mum isn't here. So she called and called. Angel: Where's Anny's mother? You divorced? Dad: No, no. I hope she would come back. But… Angel: You don't trust in me? I'm Angel, the chief broadcaster of the hot line. Dad（回头看Anny）: Then, I'll tell you the truth some other day. Angel:All right. （灯暗景换） On the left: Anny's sitting room. On the right: Anny's classroom. （左右同时演绎） Left: Dad: Anny's mum passed away in a tracffic accident six years ago. She told me to hide the truth. This is the letter for Anny. Teacher: Children, in this class. Let's enjoy Anny's composition “A letter to mummy”. (Angel, Anny同时，时空错接，音乐起) Angel: Anny, my dearest baby! Anny: Mummy, my dearest mummy! Angel: When we played hide and seek, I was found easily. Anny: When we played hide and seek, I could found you easily. Angel: But this time, you can't find me. Anny: But this time, I can't find you. Angel: Baby, we have a date. When you are 14, you can find me. Anny: Mummy, we have a date. Dad says when I am 14, I can find you. Angel: Baby, the game lasts so long. I wonder if you have the courage to go on. Anny: Mummy, don't worry. I grow up with your arms around me in my dream. Angel: Anny, if the time is so long, mummy will talk with you when you are looking at our photo. Anny: Mum, the letter you left to me is so long. I read it every night, again and again. Angel: Anny, your birthday present is on the wardrobe. Anny: Mummy, I've known the truth. Every time I take a bus, I can see your dad eyes. Angel: Anny, I'm really worried if you will be so sad after your 14th birthday. Is there anyone to love you all his life? Anny: Mummy, I'll never give up. I believe there is a call to the paradise. I will love Dad. I will love myself. I can fly with my own wings one day. Angel: Anny, my dear. Anny: Mummy, be safe all the way. There are no tears in paradise.意思：天使：一，行政广播。 anny ：一所小学的女孩谁曾呼吁了这么多，为了寻找她的母亲。

anny的父亲 anny的老师 anny的同学 鸿沟的阶段，分为两部分。 在左边：儿童的病房，一张椅子，一些鲜花。

对以下权利： 1台，一张椅子，一盏灯，一些图书。 （幕启，舞台左半亮，右半暗） （手机铃声） 岁女子：您好！ anny （怯生生地） ：您好，我，我想妈妈。

是妈妈？ 岁女子：哦，我奶奶。我没有妈妈。

anny ：我很抱歉。 （电话挂断声，拨号声又起） 一名年轻女子：您好！ anny （怯生生地） ：您好！我想妈妈。

是妈妈？ 年轻女子：你是在开玩笑？我不结婚。 （电话继续响，右半舞台亮） 天。

4.英语4人小品剧本（带旁白） 越短越好

4人英语话剧剧本It's a Small World CastKobe: K; play presenterAllen: Ab (boy)Johnson: JBZ: BArthur: Ag (Girl) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene IK: There was a lovely village in the countryside. Allen, Johnson, Bz, and Arthur are good friends. Here, they are creating the most beautiful memories.B: Hey! Look! A shooting star!Ag: Where?B: Here! (Take out a big special ring!)Ag: So, what is this for?B: Will you marry me?Ab: Sure, honey!(Ag takes out a hammer and hits Ab.)Ab: Ouch! OK! I'll be quiet.J: Hey, guys! What are you talking about?Ab: They are talking about their future. (Point at Ag and B.)J: Their future?Ag: No! Our futures. I'm gonna be a worldwide famous writer.Ab: I'm gonna be the greatest singer. And I'm worried that there will be too many girls hanging around and crazy for me!(J, B, Ag pretend to be disgusted.)J: As far as I am concerned, becoming the most successful businessman is my life goal.Ag: What about you, BZ?Ab: To marry her, right? (Ab hits B gently.)Ag: Come on! Be serious. Let him tell us.B: I want to stay here and be a farmer.Ag: All right! We're only ten now. Who knows what will actually happen in the next ten or twenty years?J: Whatever our dreams are, no matter where we are, twenty years from now, we'll all come here having a reunion.Ab: And don't forget, we are…K: Wait for me!。

All: Friends forever! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene II转自： K: Twenty years later, at Johnson Rich's company.(Phone rings.)Secretary A: Hello! This is Rich telephone company. May I help you? OK! OK! bye-bye!Secretary B: (Knock, Knock, Knock!) Mr. Rich, may I come in?J: Come in!Secretary B: (With a flirting look) Mr. Rich, Can I invite you to dinner tonight?(Secretary A cuts in between the two of them.)Secretary A: Hey! Young lady! You may be young and beautiful, but I've been working here much longer than you. I really don't mind you inviting Mr. Rich to dinner, if you don't want to work here anymore!J: Yo, ladies. Nothing but business, O.K.? Now, go back to your work!Secretary A: Sir!J: Now what?Secretary A: This is the ad for the new cell phone design, and the main idea is "It's a small world!"J: Good job! Look, my cell phones make the world smaller. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene III(At Arthur's new book press conference)Reporter A: Congratulations, Arthur. We know that you are the winner of the Pulitzer Prize.Reporter B: Why did you want to write this book?Ag: Well, I always believe that touching words can comfort people. Many people in the world live a difficult life. With words, we can tell them that they're not alone wherever they are.Reporter C: Why did you name the book "It's a small world "?Ag: It's said that “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Through words, we can express our love, thoughts, and feelings to our friends. The power of words shortens the distance among people and makes the world smaller, right? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene IV转自： (At Allen Baker's concert…Allen's fans are crazy for him and screaming everywhere.)Host: Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome our super star, Mr. Anderson!!(Fans scream like crazy.)Ab: (Singing) It can happen to anyone of us, anyone you think of. Anyone can fall. Anyone can hurt someone they love. Hearts will break. Cause I made a stupid mistake…（A fan shakes hands with Allen, and then passes out and is taken away.）Ab: Thank you! Maybe you don't understand the language I speak. Maybe we have different blood in our bodies. But I really hope that I can deliver something to you all and make you understand what I try to express. And I really really hope the music can shorten the distance between us and make the world smaller. Thank you! I love you all !! (Two crazy fans run to Allen and hold him tight. The guards drag them away.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene V(At Bz Farmer's Big Tomato Award Ceremony…)Host: Now! I'm honored to announce the first prize winner of the super award. Let's welcome Farmer of the year, Mr. BZ !(BZ runs up to the stage with a surprised look, and his fans cheer for him.)B: My goodness! I can't believe it! Thank you, my tomato fans! (Waving to them with the trophy.) I love my hometown. I grow crops not only for the people living here, butalso for the people all over the world who are suffering from hunger and poverty. My childhood friends have all been very successful in different fields to make the world a better place to live in. O。

5.跪求 相声剧本 要短点的

如此学生 （甲 乙同为学生身份，甲一脸苦恼上台） 乙：咋啦？ 甲：考试呗！ 乙：没考好？ 甲：（悲伤）嗯，都怪老师缺德. 乙：（惊讶）缺德？ 甲：对.就拿数学来说吧，这么重要的考试，你倒把题目出得简单点儿啊！他倒好，尽挑我不会的出，这不是存心和我为难吗？那么大的红灯笼挂着，多不雅观啊！ 乙：去你的吧，嫌难看，自己上课认真着点. 甲：（委屈并抽咽一下）还有呢！英语考试，填空题一分一个，可我明明写对了三个，老师却偏不给我分. 乙：不会吧？老师工作都是挺认真的.那三个是什么题目？ 甲；这你就别问了.] 乙：（拍了拍自己的胸脯）说吧，我替你作主. 甲：班级_____ 姓名_____ 学号_____ 乙：呸！填对一百个也没分. 甲：（连忙）别急，这个不算的话，还有呢！ 乙：还有啥？ 甲：老师不是说过吗？这写作文时要多用成语，分数才高吗？ 乙：（点了点头）对啊，这没错. 甲：可是这次语文考试的做文是要写游记，我用了好多成语的，可是老师把我的分数全扣光了，呜呜呜 乙：（？）啥作文，说来听听. 甲：（从口袋里拿出一张纸，他的眼泪就要"破堤而出"了）好，你要为我作主啊！"周末，爸爸妈妈特地带我们到动物园玩。

" 乙：这文章好啊，开头点题，继续 甲：（擦掉鼻涕）”按照惯例，我们早晨喜欢吃地瓜粥.今天因为地瓜卖完了，妈妈只好黔驴技穷地削些芋头来滥竽充数.没想到那些种在阳台上的芋头很好吃，全家都贪得无厌地自食其果。

” 乙：（目瞪口呆）这哪跟哪呀？ 甲：还有呢！”出门前，我那徐娘半老的妈妈打扮得花枝招展，鬼斧神工到一点也看不出是个糟糠之妻.头顶羽毛未丰的爸爸也赶紧洗心革面沐猴而冠，换上双管齐下的西装后英俊得惨绝人寰，鸡飞狗跳到让人退避三舍.东施效颦爱漂亮的妹妹更是画虎类犬地打扮得艳光四射，趾高气扬地穿上新买的高跟鞋.我们一丘之貉坐着素车白马，很快到了动物园，不料参观者多到草木皆兵，害得我们一家骨肉分离，妻离子散的爸爸鞠躬尽瘁地到处广播，终于找到差点认贼作父的我和遇人不淑的妹妹.困兽犹斗中，我们螳臂当车力排众议推己及人地挤到猴子栅栏前，鱼目混珠拍了张强颜欢笑的全家福。

” 乙：得了，得了，别读了，就你这作文，还想得分呢！ 甲：（悲哀）连你也这样说？ 乙：成语哪能让你这样用，上课认真地上吧！ 甲：（委屈状）我很认真的，上课时，我认真到同桌的一言一行我还记忆犹新.记得那是数学课时，老师问：”统计是一门很有用的知识，我们学习统计，我们的目标是什么啊？”我同桌曰：”没有蛀牙！”还有我依稀记得那次老师大骂值日生不擦黑板，同桌说：”谁污染，谁治理！” 乙：上课是听老师的，谁叫你去注意你同桌的一言一行？ 甲：。

乙：说了这么多，你的语文成绩是多少？ 甲：马有失蹄时，人有失手处 乙：少废话，几分？ 甲：。

（含糊不清） 乙：几分 甲：。

乙：大声点！ 甲：（急了）60还差2分嘛 乙：哎，看来我们学习都有问题. 甲：对，（握住乙的手）来，让我们共同努力. 乙：共同进步 甲：做学习的比翼鸟 乙：生活中的连理枝 甲：身有彩凤双飞燕 乙：心有灵犀一点通 甲：（感觉不对劲）这挨得上吗？ （下台）问题补充： 此段《如此学生》非王吉本老师之《如此学生》 下面附上王老师原作 如此学生 〈相声〉 作者：王吉本 甲：尊敬的各位老师 乙：亲爱的各位同学 合：大家下午好 甲：首先我祝各位老师身体健康 乙：那我祝各位老师万事如意 甲：我给老师们问好了 乙：我给老师们作揖了 甲：我给老师们道福了 乙：我给老师们请安了 甲：我再给老师们道福了 乙：那我就给老师们磕头了 甲：来，大家鼓掌让他磕一个 乙：磕头像话嘛！ 甲：开个玩笑！我想问你一个问题！ 乙：你问吧 甲：你睡过觉吗？ 乙：我……废话，每个人都睡过！ 甲：哦，我的意思是你考试的时候睡过觉吗？ 乙：考试的时候睡觉我可不敢！ 甲：你不敢？ 乙：对！ 甲：我敢！ 乙：是吗？ 甲：考试的时候睡觉感觉实在是太好了！ 乙：你给大家说说！ 甲：上次英语考试，老师把卷子一发，我快速的用膀胱这么一扫…… 乙：你用什么一扫！ 甲：旁光啊 乙：那应该叫侧光！ 甲：对，侧光！我快速的用侧光这么一扫，然后把卷子一放，呼！ 乙：你睡过去了 甲：你是猪吧！哪有睡觉谁这么快的！我先深吸一口气！ 。

6.求简单一点的5人英语小品

我帮你翻译了一篇 忽忽 人物：白云（B），黑土（H），小燕（X） 白云上："黑土走了吗？小燕上学走了吗？走了？都走了！剩下我白云，该我练练节目为了迎奥运参战！" heitu gone? Xiaoyan go to school? Gone? All gone! so let me practice the programe in order to welcome the Olympic！ " （这里可以跳舞唱歌什么的先表演一下） 黑土上："你这是干啥？" what are you doing here 白云："排练节目呢，别在着捣乱？" i am busy now Do not make trouble 黑土："小燕哪去了，英语老师让她去上课！" where is Xiaoyan, English teacher let her go to english class！ 白云"她上哪儿我也不知道." i do not know where she is 黑土："你能知道啥？成天不是写书就是跳舞"说完拿起手机拨："小燕！小燕！我是你爹！我是你爷爷，爷爷！有事快回来---" what did you know?just dancing and writing all days Xiaoyan!Xiaoyan! i am your father!i am your grandfather,grandfatrher! Come home quickly 白云："啥意思，你啥意思，连辈都整不明白.名副其实的老年痴呆！" what?what's your mean?you don't know who you are. totally a fool 小燕："爷爷你找我？"（小燕气喘吁吁地上来） Grandpa,you call me？ 白云："小燕你上哪儿去了？" Where you went to 小燕："在学校参加迎奥运文艺彩排！" i have practiced the program in order to welcome the Olympic in school 黑土："你也练节目？" You are rehearsing too？ 小燕："爷爷，老师让我独唱呢！" Grandpa, the teacher let me do solo 白云："你还能唱歌，你嗓子要是象你爷爷，唱一句该不会把外国人都吓昏了吧？" You can sing?if you like your grandfather's voice, foreigners will shocked when they heard about your voice 黑土："象你奶奶好，象你奶奶人前一站你找对象都难." If you look like your grandmother, could not find boyfriends 小燕："爷爷奶奶别说了."然后又问："爷爷你叫我回来干啥？" Do not speak.why you call me back 黑土："老师让你去上英语课." the teacher let you to English class 小燕："爷爷，我去不了，今天下午老师让我练歌." grandpa, I could not go, this afternoon teacher let me practice the song 黑土："练什么练，快去学英语，别耽误上课." Studies English quickly, do not delay the class 小燕："爷爷今天不行，节目安排非常紧，抽不出时间." grandpa,is not good today, the program arranges to be tight, cannot extract the time 黑土："请个假呗唱歌还能当饭吃？小燕听话，学好外语，一个女孩子家，将来当个英语教师什么的.吃个轻松饭，奥运会是国家和运动员的事，咱们参合啥？" Asks for leave to teacher .Studies the foreign language diligently, in the future will work as teacher of English anything. , the Olympic Games are national and athlete's matter 白云："你说什么？开奥运没你事儿？难道你不是中国人？" What did you say? Holds the Olympic Games is not your business? Aren't you the Chinese ？ 黑土："是又怎么样？奥运会也不缺我黑土." so what?The Olympic Games do not lack me 小燕："爷爷，别阻止我去唱歌好吗？" Grandfather, please don't prevent me to sing 黑土："不是不让，是不想让你误了学英语." I dont want to let you delay study English 小燕："误什么？参加奥运会演出还能锻炼自己，接触外国人还能加强口语，再说，奥运会对咱中国人多重要！" Attends the Olympic Games perform can also exercise itself, contacts the foreigner also to be able to strengthen the spoken language, and, the Olympic Games are much important to our Chinese！ “ 黑土："重要在哪啊？" what's the important 白云："这奥运会咱盼了多少年，如今才圆了这个梦！你说重要在哪？" we had hoped the OlympicGames for many years, only , then has been round this dream today！ 小燕："奶奶说的对 grandmother is right 白云："就是，咱们中国人站起来了，外国人也不敢小瞧我们了.过去洋人管我们叫东亚病夫，现在，特别是把刘翔一瞧，他们立刻都变成了刘翔的粉条." yes Chinese become strong.The foreigner did not dare to look down on us .In the past the foreigner called us as sicker in East Asian.Now, specially Liu Xiang,They turn Liu Xiang's starch noodles immediately 小燕："是粉丝！" is fans。

白云："我一听2008年在中国开奥运会就立刻写了一首歌" i write a song for 2008 Olympic Games 小燕："什么歌？唱给我听听，好不好" a song?let me hear ok？ 白云："好，那就让我孙女听听" ok （这里再表演个歌） 小燕："奶奶你唱的太棒了，词写的也好.奶奶声音就想歌唱家." grandmother, you sing so good, the Lyrics also well . grandmother's voice like the singer.” 黑土："这歌听起来还有点水准." this song is not bad 白云："其实，奶奶在年轻时唱的就够歌唱家水平，只是那时没文化，眼睛瞎，走错了门，进了作家." Actually, when i was young ,i also well, but I do not have the knowledge ,so i 。

7.求关于学英语的搞笑台词段子或剧本

原创：白云黑土帮你学英语刘流：大叔、大妈，可把您二老给盼来了。

想死你们了！白云：这孩子是谁？不象永元哇。永元怎么没来？还抑郁啊？黑土：这不是永元，这是刘元。

刘流：大叔、大妈，我不是永元，也不是刘元。他俩都有事。

我是刘----流，说相声的，组织上让来接您，参加春节晚会。白云：我们都一把年纪了。

啥流也不怕了，只要不是寒流，就好了。那玩意走错门，坑苦了南方人。

黑土：只要依靠**，战胜寒流不用慌。刘流：大叔、大妈，我是刘流，不是寒流。

白云、黑土：知道。刘流：寒流已被拿下。

我们说说二老自己的事吧。大叔，大妈最近忙什么？黑土：学英语------ 今年就是奥运了，再也不能沉睡了，英语也学会了。

白云：拉倒吧。前几年你说：“哈喽哇，饭也OK了，下来米细吧”。

你三国话一块说，我这现代化的中国老太太才能听懂，外国朋友能行吗？刘流：大妈，你让大叔说完。人老志气大，英语或许能拿下。

大叔，不要光说不练，说两句让我见识见识。黑土：哈喽、米细，那都是小意思。

这次我教你一句正宗的伦敦英语，就相当于东北人说普通话。那味叫一个正。

白云：吹，前几年我的门牙提前下岗了，我看，你的大牙被你吹的没法再长了。刘流：让大叔开始。

黑土：How are you（好--挖--油）！这是英国人说的“你好”。正宗的伦敦音。

白云：呓！刘流：有点味。这个咋记住。

黑土：这简单。How are you！！！说上一百遍，就记住了。

刘流：这句我学过，不过早忘了。有没有办法，让这句永远不忘。

黑土：大叔我这就教你。开动大脑，去想。

鼠年就要到了。把自己想成一只老鼠，一只饥饿的老鼠，一只聪明的老鼠。

半夜，主人睡熟了。老鼠----你----拿着一把勺子，去挖主人冻着的猪油，吃了个大饱，遛进了窝里，过了个年好年。

刘流：看我这德行，本命年来了，才偷吃了顿饱的。黑土：第二天，一个来自伦敦的母老鼠，到你窝里拜年。

你还以为交了桃花运，笑脸相迎。它对你说：“How are you（好--挖--油）。”

这时你以为桃花运，没了，倒霉运，来了。你偷油事被发现了。

忙下跪说：“警鼠姐姐，我坦白，我好挖油。”你被吓了一跳，才想起我教你的英语，“好挖油”是“你好”。

白云：后来怎么了？黑土：两只老鼠，一公，一母，还能咋的？涛声依旧呗。刘流：“好挖油”，原来是“你好”。

大叔，你不教我这句英语的话，我这年就过不好了。谢谢啊！白云：你太有才了，而且是相当有才。

我在这里，也向大家问一声过年好，“好--挖--油”！黑土：别丢人了，过年好，不能用“好挖油”，要说“孩陪--牛--也--吐--油（Happy new year to you）”！刘流：怎么讲？黑土：过年了，回家了，有孩子陪着；今年，花生油长钱了，自己的神牛也懂的主人心，吐着香油。有孩子，有牛，有油，这不就是过年好嘛。

白云：真是相当相当有才！刘流：我也学会了.大叔、大妈，“孩陪--牛——也--吐————油”。

8.求一篇2人的英语相声剧本

once there lived a kind and lovely girl. After her father's death, her stepmother became cruel to her.Her two step-sisters teased her, asking her to do all the housework. 从前有一位可爱善良的姑娘，她父亲很早就去世了。

她的继母经常虐待她，继母带来的两个孩子也经常欺负她，她们把灰姑娘当女拥一样使唤。 stepmother: Do the laundry and get on with your duties. Clean the floors right away. And what's more,bring me my breakfast. 把这些衣服拿到洗衣房做你的事情。

把地板赶快给我擦干净。另外，把我的早饭带来。

stepsister1: Cinderella! Get me my sweater, I feel a little cold. 灰姑娘，把我的衣服拿来，我感到有点冷。 stepsister2: Hurry up! Prepare the carriage for me, hand me my gloves. I'm to be late for my date. You're so, you're always so sluggish. 快点！把马车给我准备好，递我手套。

我约会要晚了，你总是那么慢慢腾腾的。 Cruel as her stepmother was to her, Cinderella still lived an optimistic life. She had a lot of animal friends. 虽然继母这样对她，可灰姑娘还是乐观地活着，另外她还有许多小动物做她的朋友。

One day, the king held a party for the prince to choose the girl he loved. Every maid in the town was invited to the party. 一天，国王要让王子自己选择心爱的人，为王子举办了一个宫廷舞会，邀请城里所有的姑娘参加。 The stepmother took her two daughters to the party, leaving Cinderella at home, because she was jealous of Cinderella's beauty. 可继母嫉妒灰姑娘的美貌，让灰姑娘在家干活，独自带着女儿去了。

Cinderella was broken-hearted. At that time, her fairy godmother appeared. 灰姑娘非常地伤心，这时，教母出现了。 Cinderella: There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing！ 没有什么我相信的事情，什么也没有！ Godmother: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that. 亲爱的，什么也没有吗？但现在你的意思并不是这样。

Cinderella: Oh, but I do. 噢，但我确实是这样想的。 Godmother: Nonsense, child! If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am!Oh, come now, Dry those tears！ 胡说，孩子。

如果你失去了你的信仰，我就不会在这里了。但现在我在这，噢，过来，擦干眼泪。

Cinderella: Why then, you must be。 为什么你一定在。

Godmother: Your fairy godmother? Of course. Now let's see, hmm。now。

the magic words.Bibbidi-boddidi-boo. Put them together and what have you got. 你传说中的教母？当然，现在让我看看。

现在，这些魔力的话，Bibbidi-boddidi-boo。

把它们放在一起，看你得到了什么。 Cinderella: Oh, it's beautiful! It's like a dream, a wonderful dream come true. 噢，它太美丽了！象一个梦，一个美好的梦想变成了现实。

Godmother: Yes, my child, but like all dreams, well, I'm afraid this can't last forever. You'll have only till night and。 是的，我的孩子，象所有的梦一样。

恐怕它不能永远延续下去。你仅仅能在午夜和。

拥有它。 Cinderella: Midnight?Oh, thank you. 午夜？噢，谢谢你。

Godmother: Oh, just a minute. Remember, on the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken and everything will be as it was before. 噢，等一会儿。记住，当时钟敲响到12点的时候，钟将会打破，一切事情又恢复了从前。

Cinderella: Oh, I understand, but。it's more than I ever hoped for. 哦，我懂了。

但它比我期望的要多地多。 Godmother: Bless you, my child. Enjoy yourself. 祝福你，我的孩子，玩得开心。

At the party, Cinderella danced with the prince all the time.Time passed quickly. All of a sudden, Cinderella caught sight of the clock on the wall. Oh, it is almost twelve o'clock-five to twelve！ 舞会上，灰姑娘成了王子唯一选中的舞伴，灰姑娘与王子高兴地跳舞，旁人都很羡慕地看着他们，议论他们。时间在美妙的歌舞中过去，墙上的大钟突然映入灰姑娘的眼里，差5分钟12点。

Cinderella: Oh, my goodness！ 噢，天啊！ Prince: What's the matter？ 什么事？ Cinderella: It's midnight. It's almost midnight. 午夜了，快到午夜了。 Prince: Yes, so it is.But why？ 是的，但又怎样呢？ Cinderella: Goodbye. 再见。

Prince: No, no,wait, you can't go now. 不，等等，你现在不能走。 Cinderella: Oh, I must, please, I must. 噢，我必须走。

Prince: But why？ 但为什么呢？ Cinderella: goodbye. 再见。 Prince: No, wait, come back. Please come back! I don't even know your name. How will I find you? Wait, please wait! Wait！ 不，等等，回来，请回来！我连你的名字都不知道呢。

我怎么能找到你呢？等等，等等，等等！ Cinderella: Goodbye. 再见。 The next day, every maid in the town was ordered to try the glass shoe.Whoever the shoes fitted well would be the bride of the princel.No one could put on the shoe, nor could the two step-sisters. When the officials were going to leave, Cinderella appeared and asked to have a try. 第二天，国王命令城中每一位。

9.英语小品台词（要短,要简单小学水平的）

When painting a snake feet added to the snake. Analogy superfluous things done, not only useless, but inappropriate. Fictional metaphor also the fact that something out of nothing. Tim feet to the snake that individuals, precisely because of the extra things to do before they lost to the mouth of the wine. This shows that to do anything that should be realistic, do not do those extra things.

There is a nobility of ancient Chu, festival after ancestors had to come to a pot of祭酒赏给help门客.门客discuss each other said: "This壶酒we all drink is not enough to drink is more than one person. Let our respective matches on the floor painting a snake, who painted, and will drink it壶酒." There is a person who one of the first snake painting it. Bao drink flagon he is, but triumphantly flagon with his left hand, right hand and continue to draw a snake, said: "I can give it added a few feet then!" But he did not画完feet, and the other who has become a snake painting. The man robbed the pot past, said: "The snake was not the foot, how can you give it does Tim feet!" Put out of pots of wine down. Tim foot snake that to people who eventually lost to the mouth that壶酒.

10.求英语相声剧本

天呢，给各位说一段英语相声。

这位大家都认识，XXX我的搭档

小号吹得好！ 就是最近啊，身体不好

尤其这次病的挺严重的，都破相了。

痔疮。 呵呵，开个玩笑

就上个星期吧，XXX给我打点话：走啊，一起游泳去

我说：不去！ 我嫌脏，游泳池里面有很多人都在里面撒尿

他说：别怕，我们也可以尿！

最后还是他一个人去了。

当天下午3点，打电话给我：哥，带2000块赎我来吧，尿尿让人逮着了。

去把他领回来。问他怎么回事，他说：他们都在池子里尿的，我是站在岸边尿的。

过两天，他自己又去了。下午又给我打电话：兄弟。来赎我来吧，又让人逮着了

去把他领回来，问他：又站岸边尿了？ 他说：没有啊。这次在池子里尿的，不过这几天有点上火，尿是黄的。

Today, I would like to present a cross-talk.

This is XXX, my partner, everybody knows him.

He blows his trumpet very well! But he has been indisposed recently

This time he's really very sick, he's disfigured.

Hemorrhoids. Ha ha, it's just a joke.

Just last week, XXX gave me a call: “Come, let's go swimming ”

I answered: “No, it's dirty; lots of people urinate in the pool”

He said: “Don't worry, we also can urinate!”

Finally he went alone.

Later in the afternoon at three o'clock, he called me: “Brother, please bring 2000 Yuan to bail me out, I was caught urinating.”

I asked him what'd happened after taking him back, he said: “They urinated in the pool, but I did it standing at the poolside.”

Two days later, again he went there alone. In the afternoon, he called me again: “Brother, I was caught again, come and bail me.”

After bringing him back, I asked: “Urinated at the poolside again?”

He answered: “No, this time I did it in the pool, but these few days I have excessive internal heat, my urine was yellow. ”

这里有很多，自己找找就可以了./Article/ShowClass.asp?ClassID=2