1.简单搞笑的英语对话

你选选吧

经典对话一：

男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）

女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。）

经典对话二：

男：Can I have your name？（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）

女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）

经典对话三：

男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

经典对话四：

男：Is this seat empty？（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）

女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）

经典对话五：

男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）

女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）

经典对话六：

男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）

女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）

经典对话七：

男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）

女：Why? Are you leaving？（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

2.跪求一篇简短的两人搞笑英文对话

一、

Customer: Give me a hot dog.

Waiter: With pleasure.

Customer: No, with mustard.

顾客：来个热狗。

侍者：很高兴。

顾客：不要，加上芥末。

（注：英语中with pleasure是“很高兴”的意思。这位顾客把pleasure当成调料了。怪不得他说不要pleasure，要芥末呢。）

二、Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you all to answer at once. How much is 6 plus 4?

Student: At once!

老师：全班同学听着，不管我问什么，你们都要马上回答。6+4等于几？

学生：马上。

3.英语幽默小对话2人（短又简单的）

随便一找就找到了被：

(1)How are you ？（怎么是你）

How old are you ？（怎么老是你）（这句最搞笑）

(2)男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸）

女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸）

(3)男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐）

女：Why? Are you leaving？（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

4.跪求一篇简短的两人搞笑英文对话

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.

一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。

To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocsandices.

为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。

Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today, honey?"

在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“亲爱的，你今天玩得好吗？”

"Oh, yes, miss" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

“哦，好极了，小姐，”萨莉说，“除了音乐其他都很好。”

5.求一简单搞笑的英语两人情景对话

A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?

B:Sure.

A:What is your father's name?

B:Happy!

A:Then, What is your mother's name?

B:Smile!

A:Are you joking?

B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census

staff?

A:Of course not.

B:Go ahead.

A:OK. Your name is Kidding!

6.简单的（最好幽默的）英语对话（5人的）

Do You Know My Work?

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”

“You don't know my work,” said the other.

“What is your work?”

“I'm a policeman.

“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.

“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

译文：（自己简单翻译）

你知道我是干什么的吗？

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面，看着大火。

“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

“你是干什么的？”

“我是警察。”

“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。

“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

旁白也可以算一人吧

7.搞笑一类的英语对话,要简单一点,快,急用~~~

一天，理德在街上碰见了汉克夫妇，理德问：“汉克，上个月你去治疗健忘症的那家诊所怎么样？”

“棒极了，”汉克回答说，“那里的医生教给我一套最先进的记忆法，我现在和以前大不相同了！”

“太好啦！”理德兴奋地说，“那家诊所叫什么名字啊？”

“叫……”汉克左思右想，怎么也想不起来，突然他一拍脑门，问理德，“那种有很多刺的花叫什么？”

“你是说玫瑰？”

“对，就是玫瑰！”

说完，汉克转身问夫人：“玫瑰，你告诉我，我上个月去的那家诊所叫什么名字？”

Day, the justifications for Germany met in the streets of Hank and his wife, Li Tak: "Hank, for the treatment of amnesia you last month that clinics how?"

"Excellent," Hank said, "where doctors taught me a set of the most advanced memory, and I am now very different from the past!"

"Great!" Read said with excitement: "That clinic is what name ah?"

"…… Called" Hank Zuosaiyouxiang, also can recall how, suddenly shoot him wondering about reasons of ethics, "that there are many thorns flower called what?"

"Are you saying that Rose?"

"Yes, the Rose!"

Finished, Hank turn asked his wife: "Rose, you told me that my last month to the clinic that is what name?"