1.急求五人搞笑短话剧英文版,适合大一生,最好带有唱歌的部分,简

【Begin】>搞笑点的。

话剧《荆轲刺秦王》旁白（Aside ）/介绍（Introduction）: Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world？ （画外音：It's you, Prince Dan！ 太子丹高兴状） Thank u mirror！ （面对观众） I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do？ （向幕里大叫） Where is my minister？阿三（毕恭毕敬） ： Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”！阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent！（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate？阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK？阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou？李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.李莫愁Are you challenging me？荆轲Off course！ 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on！音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。

”

李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren't you hurt？荆轲： We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we？ （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you？荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you？太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”？荆柯：Sure！太子丹：How are you？荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife？太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I'm kidding！太子丹：Oh, I'm kidding too！（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please？荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero,we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now！太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now！阿三：IC, ID, IQ card？荆柯：I am very very busy now！阿三（手指上场的美女，激动状）： Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love！阿三：What? What's the TCM？荆柯； Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of th can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What's the TCM？观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really？你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）

荆柯（诚恳状） Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹，阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。

《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子。

2.英语短剧剧本五个人的幽默的带翻译

英语短剧剧本1 Three Times' Beating Monster 人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精 B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆 B3:B变化成的老头 N：哪吒 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E： （摸出，递给S） S: Look,master （凑近T）………（T、S一齐转向E） T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me（伸手拿回） T： （缩手）I'll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But…… T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E： （递）Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can't walk on any more！（坐）My stomach doesn't allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what（凶相）？E： （软禁）I will help you catch fleas（跳蚤）.S: Hm!T：（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don't forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem！（安装）（B已躲在一旁偷看） E: This is…..？S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master's books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye！（走） T: Let's play cards！（三人开始打牌）音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.（变成B1） B1： （接近三人，望着）Can I join you?T: I'm sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1： （在一旁观看）Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb？（打出） B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……，Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me！（准备开电网门） S： （回来，看见B1）Oh,monster！（上前就打） B1： （倒）Ah…… T： （气愤）Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense！（深呼吸） S: Oh,please don't…… T:It's too late！（唱）once more……you open the door…（泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱） S: Please,Please,oh,no……（痛苦抱头） T： （呛住，咳）Wukong,I'm disappointed with you!B： （真身出现）Hm!Sun Wukong, I'll teach you a lesson！（变成太婆） B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter？。

（连忙挡住地尸体）No,sorry！（陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡） S： （咬牙切齿）You monster, I'll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, master？（扶T） J: Look，（伸食指）how many?T:Two…..（晕乎乎地）Sun Wukong, game over！（变成B3） B3： （看到B1,B2尸体）Oh….，my daughter, my wife! Who did it？！！（哭喊） S: I'll kill you, monster！（打） T： （想阻止，未及）You,you。..（险些晕，E,J扶住 ）You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S： （悲，离去）（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is。

.T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B： （出现） Ha,ha,ha！（三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走） T： （惊）You are。

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退) B： （抓住T）I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha。

S： （悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕）A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand。

What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S： （沉默）。

.Monkey's intuition（直觉） N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah。

you are too late ,Nezha！（对T）I've called the police.N： （摇醒B）You are under arrest .（出示证件）You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law！（带走B） T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry（小声） S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I。

am。

sorry。

..(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏） T: Let's go guys！（ 歌） S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah。

Ah。

Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder 。

3.要简单点的搞笑五六人的英语小短剧

One day a postman came to a house but found no one was at home. He went to the next house and asked the neighbour, "Excuse me, when is Mrs. Smith coming back?" The neighbor said, "Oh, I don't know her well. But I know she works from Monday to Friday. And some Saturdays and some Sundays." "So when does Mrs. Smith come back?" “She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home at about 5:30. But sometimes she is late, because she goes to the store.” "Oh, I'm sorry I can't wait for her. Would you please give the box to her?" "Oh, no. I don't know her well. Her kids are coming from Tokyo this evening. She is shopping right now. She wants to buy some food her kids." "But would you just pass the box to her please?" "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know her well." (Introduction): Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world？ （画外音：It's you, Prince Dan！ 太子丹高兴状） Thank u mirror！ （面对观众） I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do？ （向幕里大叫） Where is my minister？ 阿三（毕恭毕敬） ： Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”！ 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent！（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK？ 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou？李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.李莫愁Are you challenging me？ 荆轲Off course！ 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on！音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。

”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren't you hurt？荆轲： We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we？ （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right. 荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you？ 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you？太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”？ 荆柯：Sure！太子丹：How are you？ 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife？ 太子丹晕倒 荆柯：Hey, man, I'm kidding！ 太子丹：Oh, I'm kidding too！（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please？ 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero,we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now！ 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now！ 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card？ 荆柯：I am very very busy now！ 阿三（手指上场的美女，激动状）： Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love！ 阿三：What? What's the TCM？ 荆柯； Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What's the TCM？ 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really？你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想。

4.求简单一点的5人英语小品

我帮你翻译了一篇 忽忽 人物：白云（B），黑土（H），小燕（X） 白云上："黑土走了吗？小燕上学走了吗？走了？都走了！剩下我白云，该我练练节目为了迎奥运参战！" heitu gone? Xiaoyan go to school? Gone? All gone! so let me practice the programe in order to welcome the Olympic！ " （这里可以跳舞唱歌什么的先表演一下） 黑土上："你这是干啥？" what are you doing here 白云："排练节目呢，别在着捣乱？" i am busy now Do not make trouble 黑土："小燕哪去了，英语老师让她去上课！" where is Xiaoyan, English teacher let her go to english class！ 白云"她上哪儿我也不知道." i do not know where she is 黑土："你能知道啥？成天不是写书就是跳舞"说完拿起手机拨："小燕！小燕！我是你爹！我是你爷爷，爷爷！有事快回来---" what did you know?just dancing and writing all days Xiaoyan!Xiaoyan! i am your father!i am your grandfather,grandfatrher! Come home quickly 白云："啥意思，你啥意思，连辈都整不明白.名副其实的老年痴呆！" what?what's your mean?you don't know who you are. totally a fool 小燕："爷爷你找我？"（小燕气喘吁吁地上来） Grandpa,you call me？ 白云："小燕你上哪儿去了？" Where you went to 小燕："在学校参加迎奥运文艺彩排！" i have practiced the program in order to welcome the Olympic in school 黑土："你也练节目？" You are rehearsing too？ 小燕："爷爷，老师让我独唱呢！" Grandpa, the teacher let me do solo 白云："你还能唱歌，你嗓子要是象你爷爷，唱一句该不会把外国人都吓昏了吧？" You can sing?if you like your grandfather's voice, foreigners will shocked when they heard about your voice 黑土："象你奶奶好，象你奶奶人前一站你找对象都难." If you look like your grandmother, could not find boyfriends 小燕："爷爷奶奶别说了."然后又问："爷爷你叫我回来干啥？" Do not speak.why you call me back 黑土："老师让你去上英语课." the teacher let you to English class 小燕："爷爷，我去不了，今天下午老师让我练歌." grandpa, I could not go, this afternoon teacher let me practice the song 黑土："练什么练，快去学英语，别耽误上课." Studies English quickly, do not delay the class 小燕："爷爷今天不行，节目安排非常紧，抽不出时间." grandpa,is not good today, the program arranges to be tight, cannot extract the time 黑土："请个假呗唱歌还能当饭吃？小燕听话，学好外语，一个女孩子家，将来当个英语教师什么的.吃个轻松饭，奥运会是国家和运动员的事，咱们参合啥？" Asks for leave to teacher .Studies the foreign language diligently, in the future will work as teacher of English anything. , the Olympic Games are national and athlete's matter 白云："你说什么？开奥运没你事儿？难道你不是中国人？" What did you say? Holds the Olympic Games is not your business? Aren't you the Chinese ？ 黑土："是又怎么样？奥运会也不缺我黑土." so what?The Olympic Games do not lack me 小燕："爷爷，别阻止我去唱歌好吗？" Grandfather, please don't prevent me to sing 黑土："不是不让，是不想让你误了学英语." I dont want to let you delay study English 小燕："误什么？参加奥运会演出还能锻炼自己，接触外国人还能加强口语，再说，奥运会对咱中国人多重要！" Attends the Olympic Games perform can also exercise itself, contacts the foreigner also to be able to strengthen the spoken language, and, the Olympic Games are much important to our Chinese！ “ 黑土："重要在哪啊？" what's the important 白云："这奥运会咱盼了多少年，如今才圆了这个梦！你说重要在哪？" we had hoped the OlympicGames for many years, only , then has been round this dream today！ 小燕："奶奶说的对 grandmother is right 白云："就是，咱们中国人站起来了，外国人也不敢小瞧我们了.过去洋人管我们叫东亚病夫，现在，特别是把刘翔一瞧，他们立刻都变成了刘翔的粉条." yes Chinese become strong.The foreigner did not dare to look down on us .In the past the foreigner called us as sicker in East Asian.Now, specially Liu Xiang,They turn Liu Xiang's starch noodles immediately 小燕："是粉丝！" is fans。

白云："我一听2008年在中国开奥运会就立刻写了一首歌" i write a song for 2008 Olympic Games 小燕："什么歌？唱给我听听，好不好" a song?let me hear ok？ 白云："好，那就让我孙女听听" ok （这里再表演个歌） 小燕："奶奶你唱的太棒了，词写的也好.奶奶声音就想歌唱家." grandmother, you sing so good, the Lyrics also well . grandmother's voice like the singer.” 黑土："这歌听起来还有点水准." this song is not bad 白云："其实，奶奶在年轻时唱的就够歌唱家水平，只是那时没文化，眼睛瞎，走错了门，进了作家." Actually, when i was young ,i also well, but I do not have the knowledge ,so i 。

5.求一5人英语剧本 搞笑的 短点

老同学（搞笑校园短剧） 演员：小石头 老干巴 大杂面 小丹 小丹：这不嘛，大学毕业十来年，当年的同学见面都难，有的有钱有的没钱，穷的不把富来奔，富的与穷家也无言。

同学情感可不能白费，所以我们今天啊开个同学会，只为交流情感，不在乎喝不喝醉，呵呵。（收拾屋子） 大杂面：小丹呐，你咋还忙活呢，快做饭吧，老同学都快来了。

哎，我还得告诉你几句：今天时间也不晚了，记住今天聚会赵卫锋是重点，他现在是辛氏企业的经理，百分百一个大款。咱今天要是把他整高兴了，那咱们就抱住那金饭碗了，哈哈哈哈！ 小丹：你怎么那么见钱眼开呢？难道同学之间也要讲钱？ 大杂面：小丹你咋这么不懂事呢，同学同学，同样是学生但不一样学习。

当年学习不努力，他穷了也不能和咱们生气啊，当年刻苦学习的，他有钱也证明是自己努力。你好比当年的辛井水吧，倒是挺能折腾的，活动参加不少，就是不努力学习，听说毕业就失业了，现在在家种地，你说这是何必。

小丹：人家辛井水怎么也是同学啊，你可不能厚此薄彼啊。 大杂面：啊，对啊，你曾经还和辛井水谈过一段恋爱，怪不得你一直在为他说话呢。

你们可别当着我的面情情爱爱，别怪我翻脸让他歇菜！ 小丹：你！哼！（生气的下）（大杂面坐下看报纸） 小石头：（接电话）外！我是赵卫锋，哎呀，辛总啊，对来大杂面家开同学会，您放心吧，我一定会把这事办的清清楚楚，明明白白的，好好，再见！ （敲门）开门！ 大杂面：来了，你好你是？ 小石头：我是赵卫锋！ 大杂面：卫锋，哎呀！（拥抱）我想死你了，咱们十年没有见面了吧，我都想四你了！怎么样您母亲还好吗？ 小石头：还好！ 大杂面：您父亲还好吧？ 小石头：还好！ 大杂面：您家里都好吧？ 小石头：还好！ （小丹出来） 小丹：哎呀！小石头啊！ 小石头：恩？你是？ 大杂面：小石头？哎？这位是赵卫锋赵经理，你怎么能…… 小丹：啊，原来是赵经理啊，那你们坐下聊啊！ （赵卫锋手机响，接电话） 小石头：外，辛总啊！什么？好，我马上过去！ 老同学，我公司有点事情我得马上过去，好吗？咱们有机会再聚！ （赵卫锋下） 大杂面：完了，完了，他走了，这同学会还开啥了？饺子包了，来人就喝茶吧！ （老干巴上，敲门） 小丹：谁啊？ 老干巴：我！ 小丹：老干巴？ 老干巴：小丹？诶呀吗呀 小丹：诶呀！ 大杂面：小丹谁啊？ 小丹：老干巴快进来！军言，你看谁来了 大杂面：啊，送煤气罐的吧，放里边吧！ 小丹：他好似咱们的老同学老干巴啊 大杂面：老干巴？哪个老干巴啊 老干巴：不认识我了？大杂面？你忘了我，我可记得你呀！ 大杂面：我叫张军言不叫大杂面，（不屑的）里面坐吧。 小丹：（拉住老干巴的手）老干巴，现在干啥呢，可挺长时间没有看见你了啊。

老干巴：啊，我那什么…… 大杂面：咳！小丹，你去烧点开水去！ 老干巴：大杂面！不张军言，你现在干啥啊？ 大杂面：呀，也没干啥！就搞几个小项目呗！ 老干巴：啥项目啊？ 大杂面：啊，没啥，也就是给北极星供暖，把太平洋变浅，克隆一个北朝鲜，再把黑洞填满。 老干巴：诶呀！那你还挺忙啊！ 大杂面：呵呵，一般！老同学，那你忙写啥啊都？ 老干巴：我跟你比起来差远了，成天净鼓动农作物了。

大杂面：（骄傲的）那也行，一年也能对付个一两千！ 老干巴：哪能啊，一年也就八九百——万！ 大杂面：啊，八九百？万？不是我说你老干巴，你跟我你吹啥啊？啊，咱们当年都农村出来的，谁不知道一年挣多少啊，啊？你有啥困难到我这你装啥啊，我也不是不能帮你。我这现在家业好几十万，光自行车我就好几个。

等会你把那个89年的推走吧，没事别老走着多累，骑去呗！ 老干巴：恩，我没走着！ 大杂面：骑倒骑驴啊？那玩意更累疼，还不如自行车呢！ 老干巴：不是…… （小丹上） 小丹：你们唠啥呢？来喝水！ 大杂面：小丹，把咱们家那些破衣服啥的给老干巴拿走点，买衣服太贵了。 小丹：哎！ （小丹拿出一件衣服） 大杂面：你拿那不我的衣服吗？ 小丹：那你不说给老干巴吗？ 大杂面：我说你塞暖气空子里那几件！ 小丹：那还能穿吗？ 大杂面：老干巴他还能嫌咱们呐？ 老干巴：没事，老同学嘛，永远都是老同学！ 小丹：老干巴，还没有吃饭吧？ 大杂面：啧！人家老干巴还能不吃饭？再说咱家菜油太大，老干巴能吃惯吗？回头再拉肚子可咋整。

给老干巴包几个馒头拿走，人家老干巴没准还有急事呢！ 小丹：张军言，你是不是有点过分了？ 老干巴：那什么，没事，小丹，军言你们忙着啊，我先走了！ （赵卫锋敲门） 大杂面：这又是谁啊？这个闹停！ （开门） 大杂面：诶呀！卫锋！诶呀，你可想死我了，太好了，小丹快炒菜，今天别走了啊，就在这住！ 小石头：不的了，我们懂事长在这吧？ 大杂面：懂事长？没有啊！ 老干巴：（过来）小石头，事情办妥了？ 小石头：辛哥，办妥了，外商直接就拨款2000万！ 老干巴：好，咱们走吧！ 大杂面：辛哥！诶呀，我想死你了！太好了，小丹快去买海鲜，辛哥，今天别走了，我给你定酒店！诶呀，快给辛哥泡龙井啊，这破衣服你又翻出来干啥呀？辛哥，快坐下！ 老干巴：军言…… 大杂面。

6.英语短剧剧本五个人的幽默的带翻译

英语短剧剧本1Three Times' Beating Monster人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精 B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆 B3:B变化成的老头 N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E： （摸出，递给S）S: Look,master （凑近T）………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me（伸手拿回）T： （缩手）I'll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E： （递）Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can't walk on any more！（坐）My stomach doesn't allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what（凶相）？E： （软禁）I will help you catch fleas（跳蚤）.S: Hm!T：（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don't forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem！（安装）（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..？S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master's books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye！（走）T: Let's play cards！（三人开始打牌）音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.（变成B1）B1： （接近三人，望着）Can I join you?T: I'm sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1： （在一旁观看）Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb？（打出）B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……，Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me！（准备开电网门）S： （回来，看见B1）Oh,monster！（上前就打）B1： （倒）Ah……T： （气愤）Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense！（深呼吸）S: Oh,please don't……T:It's too late！（唱）once more……you open the door…（泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱）S: Please,Please,oh,no……（痛苦抱头）T： （呛住，咳）Wukong,I'm disappointed with you!B： （真身出现）Hm!Sun Wukong, I'll teach you a lesson！（变成太婆）B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter？。

（连忙挡住地尸体）No,sorry！（陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡）S： （咬牙切齿）You monster, I'll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master？（扶T）J: Look，（伸食指）how many?T:Two…..（晕乎乎地）Sun Wukong, game over！（变成B3）B3： （看到B1,B2尸体）Oh….，my daughter, my wife! Who did it？！！（哭喊）S: I'll kill you, monster！（打）T： （想阻止，未及）You,you。..（险些晕，E,J扶住 ）You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S： （悲，离去）（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is。

.T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B： （出现） Ha,ha,ha！（三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走）T： （惊）You are。

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B： （抓住T）I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha。

S： （悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕）A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand。

What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S： （沉默）。

.Monkey's intuition（直觉）N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah。

you are too late ,Nezha！（对T）I've called the police.N： （摇醒B）You are under arrest .（出示证件）You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law！（带走B）T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry（小声）S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I。

am。

sorry。

..(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T: Let's go guys！（ 歌）S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah。

Ah。

Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: Y。

7.谁有5人搞笑英语短剧剧本

prologue j:everybody says that i'm hen pecked, but in fact,i'm a strong tiger，（小声）while my wife is wusong. 。

i'm not afraid of you! ! then, i'm afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! my god! who can help me? act1 jm:i can! lunch! lunch! where are you? l:i'm here! what's up ,mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”. l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up? jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but…… jm:never interrupt me! l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson! l(:oh,you want a grandson,don't you?go and ask your son. i'm leaving! act2 l:mum, i'm back! lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. lm:see! i have already told you! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. look at yourself…… l:but,mum…… lm:never interrupt me! l:mum,i'm not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i'll marry whomever you want me to. lm:nice girl! just now, i met the mayor's son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven't been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i 'll go and tell him. l:what? the mayor's son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? wha。

8.5人英语短话剧剧本

以下A\B\C\D\E来代表依次5人 我也是初一的..

A:Hello B, why are you cry?

B:Oh my god!!! I lost my bag.

C:What color is it??

B:It's blue. Yes blue!!!!

C:Is it yours?

B:No,I think that's D's bag.

D:Yes It's mine.

A:And Is it yours?

B:No,It's black, I think that's E's.

E:Look! your bag is over there!

B:Where?

E:Under the tree!

B:Oh thanks! That's mine!

A:Look that cat! It bites your bag!

B:No!!! No!!! Get out here!!!

你给ABCDE各定义一个名字， 再代入文章。5分钟绝对行.最后一句话有些搞笑色彩.